I love this quote by Wayne Dyer: “With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself, or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow, or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.”
In my last blog, I sang the praises of “tap the crap,” noting that stuck emotions, like blocked toilets, need flushing. Today’s blog moves swiftly into more lovely territory: what I call “scented candle” or “Choices” tapping. This is a wonderful EFT variant, when deployed in the right context. (Note: in a bathroom with a blocked toilet, flush first, before you light a scented candle! By analogy, be prepared if necessary to “tap the crap” before you tap a choice.)
An extremely helpful way to choose your response to a particular situation, it uses the normal tapping points but introduces some positive language. You’ll see how it’s done in my “two-funerals” story.
Many years ago, I attended my first Swiss funeral. My much-older friend Meli greeted me outside with a rather hassled “oh, Jennifer! It’s nice of you to come, but I’m afraid I can’t look after you!” Confused and wrong-footed, I scurried into the back of the church, and sat down far from the congregation. I understood very little of the service, felt awkward, and fled as soon as possible.
Fast forward ten years: I had another Swiss funeral to attend, of an old lady in a nursing home where I had volunteered. This time, I knew about EFT, and I decided to tap a pre-emptive Choice: “Even though I feel awkward and worried that it will be like last time, I choose to…” (I carefully considered the right wording)“…feel really welcome, come what may.”
I then tapped a trio of rounds, which is the “Choices” protocol.
— Setup: while tapping on the Karate Chop point, I stated the problem and my choice.
— First round: I stated the negative on each tapping point (Eyebrow through to Top of Head, same as in “tap the crap”).
— Second round: I repeated the positive Choice on each point.
— Third round is a hybrid: I alternated stating the problem (“I feel awkward and worried”) with the positive choice (“I choose to feel welcome”).
I thus neatly attached the antidote to the problem.
The result kicked in immediately. In the tram, instead of burying my head in my crossword, I looked around, noticed a woman holding an announcement like mine, smiled, and asked her in German if she was also going Marta’s funeral. I explained I knew no-one; we walked into the cemetery together. She introduced me to Marta’s daughter, who lives in the UK. “I’m Jennifer,” I said, “you probably don’t know me, but…” I got no further before the daughter flung open her arms, gave me the most enormous hug, and invited me warmly to the after-funeral event, saying she’d been longing to meet me!
What a difference two minutes of tapping made!
So: next time you have something upcoming—an event, presentation, difficult conversation—that feels challenging, and you want to fine-tune how you will feel and behave in the actual moment, do try Choices tapping!
If you’d like more detailed instructions, please email me and I’ll happily send you a handout.
Wayne Dyer’s family: choosing to be joyful as they send his ashes out to sea.